Do you feel weird when giving someone a compliment? If so, you’re not alone. I know this because Dan Pink, best-selling motivational author, created a short video on “How to compliment people without feeling like a weasel.”
This sounds a trifle uncomplimentary about weasels, but it does suggest that some people are uncomfortable about giving compliments. Continue reading
Has anyone done you wrong at any point in your life? I suspect that it’s a rare person who could answer, “No.” For most, at some point, someone did not treat us well.
Have you also noticed that many grievances are being aired? There’s blaming, criticizing, finger-pointing, all pointing toward the reality that current conditions are far from perfect.
Of course current conditions are far from perfect. Some grievances are undoubtedly justified. However, conditions have always been imperfect and no matter what new policies are implemented, I don’t think utopia will come any time soon. For one thing, my utopia and your utopia likely look different, so one of us is bound to miss out.
Where we focus has an effect on us. If we look for opportunities for grievance, we can find them. When we focus on grievance, our outlook becomes grievance-centred. Continue reading
Knowing that we are genuinely appreciated is satisfying. From a choice theory perspective, we might say that appreciation satisfies our need for power, recognition, esteem.
Regardless of how we analyze it, appreciation feels good. I sincerely hope that you have personal experience of this.
However, you may also be familiar with the other side of the coin. That is, you go out of your way to do good but you perceive that it’s not appreciated. While you may not be doing it for the “glory,” it’s still more encouraging to have your efforts acknowledged rather than ignored. Continue reading
Some people instinctively know the right thing to say in difficult situations. And then there are the rest of us; we who struggle to find words when the going gets tough.
Sadness, illness or loss will likely visit us and the people we love at some point. When it happens, it can be hard to know what to say. Combine that uncertainty with a fear of making things worse and some of us would rather avoid saying anything at all. Better to be quiet than hurtful, even inadvertently.
As an example, let’s say that our friend Lynn is going through a difficult time in her life. We want to provide some kind of support and encouragement. Continue reading
If you gained two pounds last weekend, will you weigh a hundred pounds more in a year? Look ahead twenty years. At that rate, you’ve expanded by 2000 pounds! That wouldn’t be a ton of fun, would it?
We know it’s absurd to project into the future that way. A change over a short time won’t necessarily continue at the same rate. While it’s possible that you could gain the hundred pounds, it’s also possible that something completely different will happen—a smaller gain, no change, or even a loss.
One reason for events to change course is our ability to adapt. For the weight gain, we have choices in how we respond. If the increase was not what we wanted, we might change our behaviour. Supersize portions and desserts go by the wayside for a while. Continue reading
Our culture includes so many forms of story-sharing. There are documentaries, movies, books, TED talks, and so on. We share stories of difficulties, actions, triumphs and disasters, both truth and fiction.
Do you share stories of your life? Do you value the stories that others share with you? Ultimately, are there both positive and negative aspects to sharing those stories?
I’ll share this story about Anne (not her real name) as an example for you. Continue reading
Travelling can be difficult at the best of times. As these times aren’t exactly the best of times, opportunities for difficulties are even higher now. Here’s a travel story; it’s about choices.
For months, a friend we’ll call Emma has been hoping to attend a special family occasion. To do so, she’ll need to fly.
We all know by now that forms, testing and procedures are required. Emma filled out the forms and made all the arrangements that she understood to be necessary.
As Emma stood in line at the ticket counter, everyone in the line-up became well aware that there was some kind of difficulty with the paperwork for the group in front of her. Continue reading
