Reality Check: Does This Call for a Confrontation?

Posted on December 6, 2025 by RealityCheck

What does a satisfying life look like for you? For many people, an important measure of a satisfying life is that it includes being on good terms with people. Exactly who and how many people will vary from person to person.
Some folks believe that it’s important to be on good terms with everyone they meet, while others are happy with a few close friends or family members. In fact, some of us need only one close person to be satisfied.
Whether it’s a big crowd or a tiny circle, staying on good terms with the people who matter to you can be easier said than done. Conflicts may not be inevitable, but the opportunity for conflicts does arise. No matter how close we are, different people have different opinions, beliefs and priorities. We won’t see eye-to-eye all the time. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Habit of Communication

Posted on December 6, 2025 by RealityCheck

Habits matter. They can affect how well our bodies work. They can influence whether we spend much of our time feeling joyful or despondent. Our habits can also contribute to how warm and connected we feel to other people.
It can be tempting to think that we don’t have control over our habits; we do them automatically. Yet we know that when we put our minds to it, we can deliberately create our habits. For example, we could develop a habit of getting up at a specific time every day. The process of creating the habit might be aggravating, especially in the beginning, but it’s possible to do it. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Choosing Direction

Posted on November 24, 2025 by RealityCheck

Both good events and bad events are happening all the time. Babies are born, but loved ones pass away. Financial situations rise or fall. Living arrangements change for the better or for the worse. Friends and family may draw closer together or they may fall apart.
Some of those events are under our control, but certainly not all of them. Does our perspective influence what happens in our lives? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Just One Makes a Difference

Posted on November 24, 2025 by RealityCheck

Would you like to have the power to change the world? You probably know how things ought to be. Whether we’re talking community, country, or the whole planet, things would be better if they were different. Different how? The way we want, of course.
It strikes me that the concept of changing the world is particularly attractive when we are young. It’s so easy to see all the things that are wrong, and hey, it can’t be that hard to fix them, right? Change the world! It’s been a popular sentiment, especially during the 60s.
Dr. Glasser has referred to the need for power as a basic human need. This power need isn’t an evil need, or a selfish need; it’s just a need, part of our makeup. We can choose many ways to satisfy it. What we choose will make a big difference for us and for people around us. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Now For Something Completely Different…

Posted on November 15, 2025 by RealityCheck

Do you ever get the feeling that you are too predictable? Every day it’s same old; same old. Your friends, spouse, or children tell you they know what you think and what you will do next. The worst of it, you realize that they are probably right! Much of the time, we act according to our habits and patterns. We do what we’ve done before.
We have valid reasons for this! We learn from experience (if we choose to do so.) When we find an action that works well, it’s not a bad idea to keep using it. We might use the same response so often that we don’t even think about it. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Choosing Our Response

Posted on November 15, 2025 by RealityCheck

Let’s go for a drive together. (Unfortunately, this drive will have to be in our imaginations, but we can pretend it’s as much fun as the real thing.)
We’ll set out on a leisurely trip. There’s nowhere that we have to be at any specific time. No one will be inconvenienced if we meander around the long way to see how the trees look now, how low the river is, and whether there’s wildlife lurking. If we run into construction delays, that’s no big deal. Whoops! We took a wrong turn (it happens); no problem. We’ll figure out how to get back on track sooner or later. It’ll be an adventure!
Now, let’s take a different trip. Same vehicle, same route, but this time, we have an expectation. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Those Conflicts Within Us

Posted on November 15, 2025 by RealityCheck

It’s not rare to have a conflict with another person. Some serious conflicts have no apparent solution; others could likely be resolved if we put our minds to it and strive toward cooperation.
But what about conflicts that don’t involve others? How can that even happen? Here’s a possibility: Think of your wants as pictures. Envision all of those people and beliefs and things that you associate with being satisfied, joyful, contented.
Do any of those pictures conflict? That is, if you satisfy one picture, is there another picture that now can’t be satisfied? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Rock and the Hard Place

Posted on November 15, 2025 by RealityCheck

There may be times when we find ourselves with a conflict so profound, so unsolvable, that it truly is like being between a rock and a hard place. No matter what you do; what creative solutions you dream up, reality keeps telling you that nothing you do will resolve this.
In “Take Charge of Your Life,” Dr. Glasser refers to these situations as a type of “true conflict.” He also suggests that compared to “false conflicts,” true conflicts are relatively rare. False conflicts are conflicts that can be resolved, but often require work that we are not prepared to do. By comparison, in a true conflict, no matter what we do, we are not able to get what we want.
My observation is that true conflicts tend to be conflicts that involve other people, whom of course we cannot control. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: A Fresh Start

Posted on October 24, 2025 by RealityCheck

Autumn mornings are the best in my opinion. The air is fresh, the sun shines; it’s a new day. It could get us thinking that “each day is a fresh start.” Put our past troubles and trials aside; we’re starting over! Hurrah!
I’m sure you’ve seen artwork, posters and probably greeting cards that convey exactly this sentiment: each day is a fresh start. Hey, if it shows up on a greeting card, it must be true, right? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Wisdom of the Second Look

Posted on October 13, 2025 by RealityCheck

When we cross a busy street, we look both ways to make sure the coast is clear. It’s often prudent to take a second look before we set out, as we might overlook a potential threat the first time. If you take this too far, however, by checking and rechecking to make sure all is clear, we may literally never get anywhere.
Still, there are aspects of life that warrant a second look as time goes on. Dr. Bob Wubbolding often used a system to implement Reality Therapy called WDEP. The first element, “W,” involves examining Wants. What do you want?
Just a reminder: wants are not necessarily selfish. We can have noble, even self-sacrificial wants. Regardless, it’s helpful to start by knowing what we want. Continue reading →

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