Reality Check: Why Do We Do the Things We Do?

Posted on February 26, 2025 by RealityCheck

Why, oh why? Why do we do things that don’t seem to make sense? Even if you always act sensibly yourself, it’s still an interesting question. The answers could help you figure out the rest of us.
Here’s one explanation, based on Choice Theory concepts. Dr. Glasser says humans have these five basic needs: survival/security, love/belonging, power/recognition, freedom and fun. While the basic needs apply to everyone, we have differences, too. For example, one person might have a strong need for fun; another a stronger need for security, and so on. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Different People; Different Pictures

Posted on February 14, 2025 by RealityCheck

Does everybody want basically the same thing? The idea is appealing, but is it true?
We can certainly find groups of people who do want essentially the same things. When we choose friends, it’s likely that they are people who share our values and beliefs. Teams, whether sports, work, or even “Team Canada” build on the idea, “We’re in this together. We have the same goals.” Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Those Pictures in our Heads

Posted on February 14, 2025 by RealityCheck

Have you noticed that people sometimes make choices that don’t make sense? Maybe you’ve even done this yourself! Curious, isn’t it? We know better. Why, oh why?
If you’ve been reading these columns, then you know that I have a theory for you! Choice Theory, to be specific. And while knowing a theory probably won’t keep us from making counterproductive choices, at least it can help us understand. That could help us have more control. And even if we can’t gain control, at least we can choose to be less frustrated about it. Understanding can help. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: To Take Charge of Your Life

Posted on February 2, 2025 by RealityCheck

Over his long career, Dr. Wm. Glasser wrote a number of books to describe his approach to helping people get along better and live more satisfying lives. A well-known example is, “Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom.”
Years later, Glasser again described those concepts in, “Take Charge of Your Life.” Its subtitle: “How to get what you need with Choice Theory Psychology.” Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Expectations and Negotiations

Posted on February 2, 2025 by RealityCheck

During a New Year’s decluttering spree, I stacked objects to redirect to new homes in a pile that was way too high. What happened? It fell over. You and I both knew that would happen.
The logical question: “If you knew it was going to happen, then why did you do it?” Logic can be so annoying, don’t you find?
Experience teaches us many predictable consequences: Run on the ice; fall down. Eat nachos at bedtime; indigestion! Neglect your garden; welcome weeds. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Odds of Encouragement

Posted on February 2, 2025 by RealityCheck

What are the odds that you’ll happen to say something encouraging to someone who could really benefit from it at that very moment?
Encouragement is one of the seven caring habits that Dr. Glasser suggests will build relationships. Even if you don’t feel that you need to be into “relationship building,” building your encouragement skills can be beneficial for both you and for the people around you.
So, what are the odds? Probably not high, but it can make a real difference when one happens to receive encouragement at the right time. It’s also a gift for the giver to hear, “Thank you; I needed that.” Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Beginning a New Habit

Posted on January 14, 2025 by RealityCheck

Some folks approach the beginning of a New Year as the “Season of Good Intentions.” It’s January, a fresh new year stretches ahead of us. The possibilities are endless, or at least, they seem different than the “same old-same old” that we’re leaving behind. Out with the old, in with the new!
However, you may notice that good intentions are easier to talk about than to act on. For example, we might decide to be kinder in this new year, and then we notice that we’ve snapped at the cashier, fumed about all the people who can’t drive, and maybe even glared at the dog, who is, after all, just being a dog. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: That Fresh New Year Fragrance

Posted on January 5, 2025 by RealityCheck

Have you ever bought one of those air fresheners called “new car smell”? For a few bucks, you can bask in the scent of rich leather. Or maybe it’s rich vinyl. Either way, you can experience a luxurious new car scent without the inconvenience of having to part with thousands and thousands of dollars for an actual new car.
Different scents can trigger different emotions. When you walk into a room filled with the warm smell of freshly-baked cookies, doesn’t that make you feel happier? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Present and the Presents

Posted on December 29, 2024 by RealityCheck

Presents are top of mind for many at this time of year. How I look at gift-giving and gift-receiving has changed over the years, and I suspect that it may have also changed for you. As we move along in our lives, it’s no surprise that our priorities, needs, and wants change.
Yet some things remain constant throughout our lives, and Choice Theory suggests that one of those constants is a set of basic needs. We have them when we start our lives and we keep them till the end. What may change, however, are the ways that we find to satisfy those needs as our lives change. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: What Encourages You?

Posted on December 29, 2024 by RealityCheck

Encouragement makes a difference in people’s lives. OK, that may just be my opinion, but I’m sticking with it. What do you think? Do you act differently when you are feeling encouraged compared to when you are discouraged?
My observation is that when we’re encouraged, we try harder. The going gets tough; we keep on plugging. We’re not as likely to throw in the towel and spend our precious time sitting in front of the TV muttering, “What’s the use?”
Does that matter in the big picture? I think so. Continue reading →

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