Reality Check: The Critical Eye

Posted on April 19, 2020 by RealityCheck

Many people are now spending more time at home. While that may be with people you love and care about, it may also be in close quarters and for some, it must be quite a change.
There’s an interesting difference between being forced to spend time with people versus choosing to do so.
For example, people vacation together. Sometimes they share tiny spaces: campers, hotel rooms, even tents, and they happily get along.
However, require that the same people stay together in a full-sized house for a few weeks with no definitive end in sight, and the dynamic may change. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Tradeoffs in our Choices

Posted on April 12, 2020 by RealityCheck

Choice-making can be difficult. When you choose one thing, you close the door on something else. Giving up options can be painful.
If one option offered only benefits and another option offered only risks, then the choice hardly qualifies as a decision; it’s clear.
However, real choices—hard choices—entail tradeoffs where each option has both upsides and downsides. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Productive Uses of Time

Posted on April 5, 2020 by RealityCheck

For many of us, regular routines have been disrupted. It looks like the disruption may go on for quite some time, too.
It’s disconcerting when we can’t go about business as usual. The coffee shop is off limits, so folks can’t meet up with their friends in the morning. Many of us can’t go to our workplaces and do our regular jobs. It’s upsetting, and the uncertainty can be frightening.
Another effect may be confusion. In the course of our regular lives, there’s so much to do. While the things to be done are still there waiting to be done, we can’t do a lot of them now. What do you do when you suddenly have unexpected “free” time? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Thoughts on Going Viral

Posted on March 28, 2020 by RealityCheck

You’ve already heard about the virus. I’ve been torn about whether to write about it. There is already so much discussion, and I certainly have no medical information to offer. What could I possibly add that might be helpful?
However, there are people who are so stressed, some getting information from less-than-reliable sources, and others who have encouraged me to add my two cents. So, I’ll give it a try.
My first point is about fear of the future. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Forest, the Trees and the Path

Posted on March 21, 2020 by RealityCheck

Bad news, or the fear of bad news, can take a lot of our energy.
Does that matter? I think so. And it’s not just the selfish sentiment of, “I feel better when I’m happy” kind of mattering, either. The energy we use on the bad and worrying is energy that we can’t spend on other things, like the good and the productive.
Consider your own experience. Compare times when you have been anxious with times when you’ve felt happy, confident, empowered. When were you more likely to help someone else? Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Company We Keep

Posted on March 14, 2020 by RealityCheck

Depending on who you talk to, the world is either on the brink of destruction or it’s approaching a golden age of peace and prosperity.
Yes, both perceptions exist. You might not have realized that, because we seem to hear a lot more about the destruction aspect. Crisis is more exciting than peacefulness, and an exciting message, even a fear-filled one, gets attention.
To be clear, I’m not referring to any one situation that’s happening right now. By the time you read this, any current crisis will likely be replaced with a new one anyway.
Rather, I’m noticing an ongoing beat of negativity, horror, panic, and finger-pointing. Different crisis; similar responses. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: When we don’t like our advice

Posted on March 7, 2020 by RealityCheck

Advice is plentiful, whether we look for it or not. What to eat, where to live, how to act; you can find someone, somewhere, ready to offer their opinion.
How do you respond to advice that you don’t like?
When Jennifer moved from her hometown, she found a culture—friends, work, and relationships, that was quite at odds with her upbringing. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Courage and Discouragement

Posted on February 29, 2020 by RealityCheck

If you’ve ever felt the thud of discouragement, you may have also felt that you have no control over how you respond. It’s a powerless feeling, isn’t it?
What brings on those discouraged feelings? Here are a few of the many possibilities.
When I am unable to do something, I could become discouraged because I perceive that I’m not very smart. When I can’t get along with people, I may become discouraged because I believe I’m not very compassionate. When I work and work with no satisfactory reward, I may be discouraged because I’m not appreciated enough.
Discouragement can come from the recognition that I’m not making progress in the direction that I want to go.
Learning is one area where I sometimes see discouragement, and the way folks deal with that discouragement can make a real difference in their lives. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: Agreements Among Friends

Posted on February 22, 2020 by RealityCheck

My old friend passed away. After a century of life, he’d reached his natural end. While our friendship was not so very old; it spanned only about a decade, it had huge influence on me. It was a special friendship, based completely on thinking—on ideas, curiosity, and animated discussions.
No topic was out of bounds for us. We talked about human nature, learning, economics, the weather, and even the untouchable topics of politics and religion. The whole gamut was fair game.
We didn’t always agree. Actually, to be completely honest, we approached many topics from pretty much opposite perspectives. Continue reading →

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Reality Check: The Compassion of Listening

Posted on February 17, 2020 by RealityCheck

If you have an active imagination, you may have a conversation going on in your head right now while you’re reading this.
Perhaps you are arguing with yourself over whether you should have said that thing you said to your friend the other day. Maybe you are worrying about some future possibility that may or may not happen. Continue reading →

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