Reality Check: The Gift of a Deadline

Posted on February 8, 2020 by RealityCheck

Many of us have had to work to deadlines, even if we don’t always think of them as deadlines. Whether it’s called a due date at school, a vacation date at work, or even a gathering of friends for a party, the requirement to have specific things done by a specific date is pretty common.
Also common to many deadlines is that once the event has passed, you may as well stop working on it. There’s not much point in spending more time preparing for that one important interview once you’ve had it. There’s not a lot of value in studying one more hour for a specific test after you’ve written it. And once the birthday party is over, there’s little satisfaction to be had by continuing to fiddle with the decorations. Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: The Gift of a Deadline

Reality Check: The Dull of Winter

Posted on February 2, 2020 by RealityCheck

Winter. The dull days, grey clouds, rain, drizzle, fog, and yes, even snow, can be a hard time of year. It’s as if the sun takes a vacation (probably gone south.) For some folks, those dull days stir up dull, dreary feelings that are hard to shake.
If you are adversely affected by winter, you might wonder whether there’s anything you can do about it. You can’t change the weather. You could wait ten minutes and see if it changes on its own, but wishing and hoping doesn’t seem to do much. Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: The Dull of Winter

Reality Check: Working with Unpredictable People

Posted on January 26, 2020 by RealityCheck

While we can never predict exactly what will happen, many situations are quite predictable.
It’s painful to touch the hot stove. If I don’t believe it, it only takes one try to learn a lesson I won’t soon forget. Likewise, if I stay up too late, I’m tired the next day. And probably cranky.
We can learn a lot about the relationship between our behaviour and likely consequences from our experiences. Fortunately, we don’t have to personally experience every consequence; we can learn from other’s experiences, too! Continue reading →

Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Working with Unpredictable People

Reality Check: Take It to Heart? Or Not?

Posted on January 18, 2020 by RealityCheck

Whenever people need to interact with each other, there are opportunities for conflict. Conflict shows up among friends, within families, in community discussions and at workplaces.
That’s no surprise. After all, one reason for conflict is because people don’t agree on everything! We have different wants, different needs, and even different perceptions of the reality in which we live. Conflicts can naturally arise from those differences. Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Take It to Heart? Or Not?

Reality Check: Reassessing Wants

Posted on January 12, 2020 by RealityCheck

Dr. Robert Wubbolding suggests a deceptively simple four-part structure derived from the practice of Reality Therapy. He calls it WDEP: Want, Do, (self)Evaluate, and Plan.
The practice starts with, “What do you want?” Wants can be surprisingly confusing and the path to achieving those wants is not necessarily straight. Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Reassessing Wants

Reality Check: The Making of a Habit

Posted on January 4, 2020 by RealityCheck

The coming of the New Year inspires many of us to make New Year’s resolutions. If you have been thinking that a change in your behaviour is in order, then the New Year is as good a time as any to make that change.
Resolutions often involve giving up some kind of indulgence. For example, lots of folks choose the New Year to resolve to stop smoking, to cut out unhealthy foods, or to reduce or eliminate some other enjoyable activity that you perceive as not being good for you in the long run.
Sadly, resolutions often get tossed to the wayside by the time February comes rolling around. If you want a life-long change, then look at it as making a new habit. Continue reading →

Posted in Making a Change | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: The Making of a Habit

Reality Check: Prepare, Then Forge On With Optimism

Posted on December 30, 2019 by RealityCheck

Back in my childhood, roughly a thousand years ago, there were a few popular doomsday scenarios that described how awful the world would be when I grew up. If I managed to make it to adulthood, that is.
For example, nuclear war was not a far-fetched possibility. There was also the global cooling problem—that’s where the earth experiences another ice age and gets taken over by woolly mammoths. I particularly remember a woolly mammoth sketch on the cover of an early scribbler, a tad disturbing for any child with a vivid imagination! Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Prepare, Then Forge On With Optimism

Reality Check: Choosing Your Advisors

Posted on December 22, 2019 by RealityCheck

Whether we ask for it or not, we are often on the receiving end of advice. For example, when your mother-in-law tells you that you should have put your snow tires on two weeks ago, you might not have identified that as advice. Yet there it is, whether you wanted it or not.
We can choose what to do with unsolicited advice. In some cases, we might determine that it’s valuable, so we act on it. Other cases, we ignore it. Sometimes, when unhelpful advice is offered by someone we care about, we might nod pleasantly and file it away in the spot in our brains labeled, “I’ll never need this again.”
Perhaps the most unhelpful response to unwanted advice is when we choose anger. When we perceive that advice is an attempt to control, it can be easy to take umbrage and think, “How dare you! I don’t need your help!” That doesn’t do much for keeping relationships together, and if the advice was offered in a genuinely helpful spirit, it can give rise to confusion and hurt feelings. Continue reading →

Posted in Personal Freedom | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Choosing Your Advisors

Reality Check: What we say; What they hear

Posted on December 15, 2019 by RealityCheck

Have you ever walked away from a conversation shaking your head and wondering, “What was that all about?” Do you ever perceive that people you talk to are overly sensitive, resentful, or easily offended?
Having a conversation that’s a true exchange of information can be more complicated than we think. Continue reading →

Posted in Develop Understanding | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: What we say; What they hear

Reality Check: Recognizing Our Gifts

Posted on December 7, 2019 by RealityCheck

We are free to give gifts at any time of the year. However, whether because of social convention, family expectations, or faith-based convictions, gift-giving is more extensive at this time of year.
Some folks find the whole gift-giving process stressful. For one thing, there’s the reality that purchasing gifts can create financial strain. Another issue for many is a concern that if they don’t choose well—if the person who receives the gift doesn’t like it or feels slighted by it—then they might end up creating bad feelings in the relationship rather than enhancing it with joy and good will. Continue reading →

Posted in Choosing Perspective | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Reality Check: Recognizing Our Gifts